sooo....

Last night, i went to tiff's/talia's/katie's homecoming with adam... it twaz pretty fun..until one thing happened......(and you all know what that is...)  I wanted to give a hug, but i didnt want to feel "awkwardish" and i didnt want to be screamed at.. so i just stood there and felt sad...

after the event, adam went to comfort her, and i was all alone sitting on a table watching the people "bump and grind" and jank... at this part, i felt horrible and not-wanted and out of place...

So i just sat there waiting for someone to come.  Talia came and went, but my voice was too weak from screaming at all of the amigos to call her over and sit with me..

After a while of sitting, i decided to walk around and try to look for adam/katie/tiff... I finally found them hiding behind me, and we went on as if "the event" never happened... It felt good to, yet again, be reunited with the friends, but it felt kinda awkward becuz of "the event"...


Now, i feel a little bit sad cuz of "the event" but more bcuz of the fact that i couldnt really hang with mis amigos... and i know we all are great friends... and i wanna keep it that way... but i feel a small bit out of place... :-\

idk.. yo ME GUSTA mis amigos TODOS LOS DIAS!!

ok so right now i am feeling really stressed/tired/nervous/anxious/scared/annoyed/mad/pissed...  HEADACHEEE!!!

first period im stressed/mad/nervous cuz chemistry is confusing/hard..

second period im mad cuz i cant sit with my friends in computer art

third period im mad/stressed becuz i gotta write a paper and i cant talk with my friend

fourth period im mad/pissed/anxious/nervous cuz i dont know anyone in german and im really worried about the two week trip to Deutschland.. CUZ I WONT KNOW ANYONE THAT WILL GO FROM GERMAN CLASS!!

fifth period im mad cuz im not hyped and i dont talk as much to my friend in history

sixth period im worried cuz idk how im gonna finish my theme park project in dig vis.

seventh period im mad/pissed/worried cuz i dont know anyone in algebra 2 and im worried for the future of the math cuz it gets harder...

and both lunches im mad/pissed cuz b lunch on even days i only know one friend and c lunch i only know 2 friends....


RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

God please help me....

I MUST WARN PEOPLE ON XANGA/FACEBOOK.. THIS MIGHT SOUND WEIRD...

THIS IS A TRUTH THINGY BECAUSE CURRENTLY MY FEELINGS HAVE GONE HAYWIRE AND I MUST POST THIS.. PLEASE DO NOT DISOWN ME...

IF YOU THINK IM WEIRD.. PLEASE SAY SO.. BUT I AM NOT GONNA CHANGE MY MIND ABOUT THIS POST.. THIS IS THE WAY IT IS...












ok, so im just gonna lay it out to everyone... i believe the reason why i feel so sad/depressed/lazy sometimes to most of the day is because i have "wet dreams" every day.  This might sound alarming to some of you, and weird/creepy to most of you.  I know this is weird, and it pains me to write this, but I must get it off my chest.  I know it is natural for me to have these "wet dreams" (as I'm sure all of you may know from ur horrible time in Family Life), and i just hope that none of you who read this will disown me and not be my friends anymore.

To tell the truth even more, I actually reasearched some info bout this cuz I am SOO freggin tired of being sad/depressed/lazy.  If anyone really cares or wants to read then here are two websites: 
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080608150649AAzZh3R    

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20070329111306AAD2RFk



The above explanation is probably the main reason why I feel depressed, but another reason could be because I listen to music A LOT.  Some songs are sad, some songs are hyped, and some songs aren't made to be sad, but they make me sad.. It's weird (not as weird as the above reason), but this seems to be how it is...

Yet again, another reason could be because I haven't worked out in a LOONG time.  I have this disease called "hypotonia" which means that I have muscle weakness.  You can read about it here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypotonia







But yeah... Please dont disown me just because I put my reasons up here... yes, i know it seems really weird and creepy, but it's just the way it is... and i needed to get all this off my chest...